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Fathers and Sons

Today I went to my cousin's basketball game at the Y. It was pretty intense 4 on 4 (actually 3/3 because the other team had a player missing) and afterward my uncle, who is also the coach, spent about 20 minutes giving my cousin tips on how to improve his game.
Little H was snuggled peacefully next to my chest. Often it occurs to me that I love him very intensely, that I'll nurture him and care for him, and that I will be a fantastic mother for him.... but I can never be his dad. I can never teach him the best stance for dribbling and shooting, how to properly hold a bat or the best way to run a football down the field. Even if he takes interest in music and theater and speech, my pep talks and tips will never mean as much to him as they would coming from a father. That father/son bond can't exist between us because I simply can't relate in that intimate way.
Part of this process is letting go of things I can't control. I just need to do my best, surround him with good role models and pray it's enough.

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