One of the things I do in my spare time (lol) is teach faith formation for second graders at my church. Because they are second graders, they get to participate in two milestone sacraments: First Reconciliation and First Communion. Teaching kids about these two sacraments is a blessing for me more so than them, because they often get it better than myself or any adults that I know.
So, as I imperfectly stumble through teaching them about confession, the examination of conscience comes up and we talk about what we confess in front of the priest; number one is, "Do I put God first?"
Let's take a break for a moment and take a moment to consider that none of us does this. We may want to, we may strive to, but often, life comes first, jobs come first, obligations come first, busy-ness comes first, and then we squeeze our schedules to fit God in somewhere. None of us excels at this.
But one example I use is, "Do you go to church on Sundays, even if you'd rather do something else?" and inevitably one child (or more than one) will proclaim, "We don't go to church on Sundays!"
Sometimes, it's a boastful proclamation, because, as any teacher knows, there's always that kid who delights in contradicting their teacher. But just as often, a child will come to me after class and, with quiet, worried sincerity, say, "What if my parents don't take me to church?" to which I respond, "Well, why don't they?"*
I get everything from "we're too busy" to "my mom works on Sundays" and even "I don't know. They just don't." One child recently said, "My daddy says that Sunday is family time, and it's okay to miss church because we are spending time as a family."
STOP.
Mass is the most important way to spend time with your family.
Do you know what the single greatest rule is with regards to teaching children? It's not what you SAY. It's what you DO. Kids will ALWAYS do what you do and ignore what you say. ALWAYS. You can send them to Faith Formation class every week, but if you don't practice your faith, I can almost guarantee you, they won't either.
Sometimes, we just need to have a compelling reason to change a bad habit. Here's what going to Mass will do for your beautiful children of God:
It teaches your kids about God.
This might seem obvious, but at Mass your kids hear the word of God in the liturgy, learn from the pastor during the homily, and see the presence of God in the Eucharist.
It teaches your kids how to be still.
Taking kids to Mass is hard. Children are inherently the opposite of still. They will be noisy and wiggly. But they will see you be still. They will see you be silent. In our culture where we are constantly entertained and stimulated, just being still is a beautiful gift.
It teaches your kids about love.
Do you love someone? Do you know that love is a verb, not a feeling? When your child grows up, one day they will have to love someone, or at least, they will want to love someone. Loving someone means sometimes choosing to do things that you don't want to do because it brings you closer to the person you love. If you want your kids not to just be "Christian" in name, but to love God and therefore be able to better love others, going to Mass is one of the best ways to start that habit. Not "feeling" church today? It doesn't matter - you aren't going because you "feel like it", you're going because it brings you closer to God, even when, or especially when, you'd rather do something else. You are choosing to love God. Other habits of love can (and hopefully will) grow from that one.
It teaches your kids about respect.
Oh, how often I hear adults lament about how disrespectful "kids these days" are! I include myself in this, even about my own children. But I'm confident that one day, the reverence I expect them to use in the holy space where they sit each week, will sink in and they will learn how to use that consideration for others to make the world a little less, well, rude. They will learn that pride can and sometimes should take a backseat to humility and that sometimes, we all need to take a knee or two to make life easier to stand. Respect for God will lead them to respect for others, even those they disagree with, and Lord knows we need more of that.
It teaches them about community.
When was the last time you sang with 150 other people? Here's my music teacher plug: Science says that singing together is actually good for your health, and the more people you sing with, the better. I imagine that, as social animals, praying together, being unified together, being a part of something bigger than yourself, can have similar and exponential benefits. It teaches kids that there is more to life than themselves - that there is a broad, big world out there and that connection to other people is the key to finding fulfillment there.
It brings them into the presence of the One who loves them the most.
We all want our children to feel valued, loved, cherished beyond all measure. As a parent, I certainly want this, yet I fall short of doing it every day. But there, on the altar, is the Living God. He loves them perfectly, all the time. They might not realize it, but every moment they spend with Him stays with them. One day, when they are grown and the struggles of the world are more than they can bear, they will know exactly where to go to find the peace that comes with that kind of all consuming love.
In short, Mass isn't just a family obligation. It's a gift to your child, from God, that you can unlock for them, simply by showing up.
*It's important to note that I let the kids know that if mom or dad doesn't take them, that it isn't really their fault, and therefore not a sin that they are culpable of. I also tell them to tell their parents (when confronted with the inevitable excuses), "We should go to Church on Sundays. Can you take us?"
So, as I imperfectly stumble through teaching them about confession, the examination of conscience comes up and we talk about what we confess in front of the priest; number one is, "Do I put God first?"
Let's take a break for a moment and take a moment to consider that none of us does this. We may want to, we may strive to, but often, life comes first, jobs come first, obligations come first, busy-ness comes first, and then we squeeze our schedules to fit God in somewhere. None of us excels at this.
But one example I use is, "Do you go to church on Sundays, even if you'd rather do something else?" and inevitably one child (or more than one) will proclaim, "We don't go to church on Sundays!"
Sometimes, it's a boastful proclamation, because, as any teacher knows, there's always that kid who delights in contradicting their teacher. But just as often, a child will come to me after class and, with quiet, worried sincerity, say, "What if my parents don't take me to church?" to which I respond, "Well, why don't they?"*
I get everything from "we're too busy" to "my mom works on Sundays" and even "I don't know. They just don't." One child recently said, "My daddy says that Sunday is family time, and it's okay to miss church because we are spending time as a family."
STOP.
Mass is the most important way to spend time with your family.
Do you know what the single greatest rule is with regards to teaching children? It's not what you SAY. It's what you DO. Kids will ALWAYS do what you do and ignore what you say. ALWAYS. You can send them to Faith Formation class every week, but if you don't practice your faith, I can almost guarantee you, they won't either.
Sometimes, we just need to have a compelling reason to change a bad habit. Here's what going to Mass will do for your beautiful children of God:
It teaches your kids about God.
This might seem obvious, but at Mass your kids hear the word of God in the liturgy, learn from the pastor during the homily, and see the presence of God in the Eucharist.
It teaches your kids how to be still.
Taking kids to Mass is hard. Children are inherently the opposite of still. They will be noisy and wiggly. But they will see you be still. They will see you be silent. In our culture where we are constantly entertained and stimulated, just being still is a beautiful gift.
It teaches your kids about love.
Do you love someone? Do you know that love is a verb, not a feeling? When your child grows up, one day they will have to love someone, or at least, they will want to love someone. Loving someone means sometimes choosing to do things that you don't want to do because it brings you closer to the person you love. If you want your kids not to just be "Christian" in name, but to love God and therefore be able to better love others, going to Mass is one of the best ways to start that habit. Not "feeling" church today? It doesn't matter - you aren't going because you "feel like it", you're going because it brings you closer to God, even when, or especially when, you'd rather do something else. You are choosing to love God. Other habits of love can (and hopefully will) grow from that one.
It teaches your kids about respect.
Oh, how often I hear adults lament about how disrespectful "kids these days" are! I include myself in this, even about my own children. But I'm confident that one day, the reverence I expect them to use in the holy space where they sit each week, will sink in and they will learn how to use that consideration for others to make the world a little less, well, rude. They will learn that pride can and sometimes should take a backseat to humility and that sometimes, we all need to take a knee or two to make life easier to stand. Respect for God will lead them to respect for others, even those they disagree with, and Lord knows we need more of that.
It teaches them about community.
When was the last time you sang with 150 other people? Here's my music teacher plug: Science says that singing together is actually good for your health, and the more people you sing with, the better. I imagine that, as social animals, praying together, being unified together, being a part of something bigger than yourself, can have similar and exponential benefits. It teaches kids that there is more to life than themselves - that there is a broad, big world out there and that connection to other people is the key to finding fulfillment there.
It brings them into the presence of the One who loves them the most.
We all want our children to feel valued, loved, cherished beyond all measure. As a parent, I certainly want this, yet I fall short of doing it every day. But there, on the altar, is the Living God. He loves them perfectly, all the time. They might not realize it, but every moment they spend with Him stays with them. One day, when they are grown and the struggles of the world are more than they can bear, they will know exactly where to go to find the peace that comes with that kind of all consuming love.
In short, Mass isn't just a family obligation. It's a gift to your child, from God, that you can unlock for them, simply by showing up.
*It's important to note that I let the kids know that if mom or dad doesn't take them, that it isn't really their fault, and therefore not a sin that they are culpable of. I also tell them to tell their parents (when confronted with the inevitable excuses), "We should go to Church on Sundays. Can you take us?"
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