Empty Bed, Full Heart- A Single Mother's Journey

The above is something my 6 year old frequently says when she's joking about forgetting something. It's cute and endearing and I love her little voice when she says it and laughs at herself. I find myself slightly less entertaining when I am "losing my mind". "What do you mean 'losing your mind'?", you may be asking yourself. Take a seat on the rug, dear reader. It's story time. Last night was the girls' first night back home for the week. After feeding them a healthy dinner of Little Caesar's, root beer, and potato chips (I get one crappy meal each week and I took it early this time), I started the massive undertaking that is bedtime. At one point, my 6 year old remembered that she had something in the car that she needed. I can't remember what it was. Cut me some slack, I'm losing my mind, remember? Anyway, I ran into the garage and the dog followed me, like he always does because for some reason he loves me, even though I n...

One is a lonely number. But so is 2 when the other person is a toddler. I'm missing my little girls tonight and all week. Most days, I just pray to God that maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to hold my children in my arms every night like I used to. For a few months, from September until Christmas, God gave me that gift. Their dad was going to move to Idaho and for four wonderful months, I watched my girls' anxiety ebb. I watched the light come back into their faces. I watched them become calm and secure. While their dad worked on getting ready to sell the house and move two states away, they began to know what to expect. They smiled and laughed with confidence, not uncertainty. When they saw their dad, they came home to me bubbling with excitement and happy to crawl into their beds and kiss their mommy good night. They knew where home was. And they were happy. He didn't move. He decided to stay. He said he wanted to go back to uprooting them on a weekly basis. I asked ...