Empty Bed, Full Heart- A Single Mother's Journey

I remember the feeling of apathy. I remember well the sensation of not caring about anything, interspersed with feelings of excruciating sadness and fatigue that would erupt seemingly out of nowhere. But, in a way, the apathy was familiar. I'd accepted it and, in a way, become accustomed to it. What kept me from leaving for so long was first the expectation that there was no way out, but second, the fear of the unknown. What would happen if I left? I knew what life held for me if I stayed, and it was misery, but at least I knew. In a lot of ways, the worst case scenario played out because I had an ex who was willing to go further than I was; who was more willing than I to cause pain to accomplish his goals and do what was in his best interest. Maybe that just makes me stupid. The biggest thing was the fear. When I met my little boy's father, I instantly recognized that fear in him, too. We were both standing on the edge of the life we had known for many years, the comfort an...